How it feels to be an abused Woman...and how to get out

4:32 PM

Many of you have been in abusive Situations. Abuse can range from physical, mental or emotional . I have personally been there myself. It never gets easier with time, and the only way to stop it is to leave the abuser. Some of you may say easier said than done, which in many cases is very true. You could be staying for your kids, lack of funds, or the simple fact you think you have no where else to turn too.

I want to start by telling you, that anyone can remove themselves from an abusive situation.I don't think I am quiet yet ready to tell my story, however, someone close to me, Kelly one of my co-admins, would like to share her story with you all.


In her words:


If you  see me at work or on the street you would never know I am " one of them".  I don't share with many women what goes on in my personal life but I think its time to get something out in the open.  I have asked Brie to please post this so if anyone else is going through this, we can help each other.

I am the classic battered woman, I always go for the bad boys the ones that don't treat me well.  My sons dad was abusive to me the whole pregnancy and I felt I deserved it.He would beat me or choke me, because I would be late to go somewhere with him. It finally stopped when my son was 5 and he saw his dad hit me. In my twisted mind, I thought I deserved it I was a bad mom, or bad girlfriend. The abuse stopped that day David saw his dad hit me, I got the courage to leave him.

I got involved with my present Boyfriend 12 years ago, I fell in love quickly and a year after we started dating he asked me to move in with him.My parents hated him and my son tolerated him, but they all knew what lurched behind those eyes.He started abusing me mentally which quickly turned into physical abuse. I had to lie to people about what a bruise was from and he was smart enough to put the bruises where no one could see them.Living with an abuser,It really  takes a toll out of you, the lies you have to keep up with are incredible.Before you ask why didn't I leave him?  Well the answer is two fold, I never had the money to do it and second I was convinced I was in love with him.To be honest? I never really thought of it as abuse since I could protect myself from him. It always happened when he was drinking, so I learned not to let my guard down and drink around him. Life was not easy and I am not proud of a lot of decisions I made during that time.  I lost my son due to him and I am afraid I also lost my pride it has not been easy.

Yesterday he went into a fit of rage again, this time I am leaving him before I get killed.I have a wonderful group of friends that support me and will leave when I feel its safe too.  If I can reach just one person, then I will feel better about myself trust me, you are not alone.
 
I thought the past was behind us, until this past weekend when he had a fit of rage.  It was horrible and it scared me, I have decided its time to move on and move out.  I have never had the courage to do until now, but I have a wonderful support group and I feel blessed.
 
Kelly
 
 
 
 
Kelly's story is just one of the many I hear on a daily basis. I have personally went through the situation but as I said, am not quiet ready to relive that story yet until maybe my kids are little older.
 
Unfortunately I wish I could say that only women are victims of abuse but many men are as well and are ashamed more than women to come forward, the reasons for them are close to the same as a reason a woman gives for staying.Many men fear leaving because they are scared for the children involved and fear the courts would not believe them. The biggest thing you can do is to document every situation somehow, even if simply writing in a notebook about each event with every small detail you can.
 
So my message to you, is that if you are truly in a situation like that, reach out, to me, to Kelly, to anyone in your community or surrounding community  who can help you. Battered Women's shelter's are one charity that I support every year on a regular basis with clothing, extra's from my couponing and whatever I can. 

If you are in a situation and feel you want to get out, reach out and I will personally see to it that I reach high and low to find you the help you need in your community. 

Staying because of the kids is an excuse, staying because of no money is another excuse. You may think that I am wrong, but you can get out before you get killed. So many people are willing to help , you just have to be ready to make that step in the right direction.

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