OMG That Mother Did what?4:58 PM
When did you become the Dictionary? How about the Parent police? I mean, I have to ask since you seem to know everything!
I wonder how many of you actually sit and think about these things on a daily basis. I bet many of you get just as annoyed and perturbed as I do when you see things like what I am about to write.
I have followed the heartbreaking story now for 2 days of the little 5 year old Autistic child who went out of the home at 11 pm on New Year's Eve and still as of this moment, not been found although they are currently dragging a Canal with a coroner and Chaplin present. My heart breaks for that family.
I was reading comments all weekend of people who kept saying what Horrible parents these people were, how they should be charged with Murder. I wanted to scream at these people, not that it would do any good, but I just wanted to yell, Are you a parent of a special needs child? Are you a parent at all? Do you put your children to bed at night and go to bed yourself? The same thing could have happened if the parents were asleep, but they were not asleep so the discovery of him missing actually happened much sooner than it would have had they have been asleep.
When you put your child to bed at night and they fall asleep, do you expect them to be in bed in the morning when you go to wake them up or do you go to their room and check on them every 15-30 minutes all night long and just forget getting any sleep yourself? So the parents were in the home, having a small get together for New Year's Eve , no one has said they were drunk or even drinking, yet you should read all the speculation. SO what if the parents had a glass or two of wine? Do parents give up being adults who can have friends and relax every once in awhile just because we become parents?
I am a homebody, I much prefer to sit home and watch T.V., play board games and enjoy myself than I do going out to loud, crazy and crowed bars. However, if I chose to want to go out sometimes, I think as an adult< i have that right. It doesn't make me a bad parent, the exact opposite actually, it makes me a better parent when I get the opportunity to have time for me, or time to spend with my Husband just us or with friends. It is that time that allows me to rejuvenate, and just feel better all around.
if these parents were home, any other night than New Year's eve, and were on the couch watching a movie at 11 pm and the child still went out of the home, and it was 100 % proven they were not drinking, and that they were just hang a special date night after the kids were in bed, would people still be so quick to judge and think that these parents should rot in hell for this? Do they not realize that no one will ever blame these parents as much as they will blame themselves. they will have this forever burned in memory. They will never celebrate another New Year with friends, they will never quiet see a New Year as a new beginning again.
It isn't only this instance, it's all over. No matter what you do, people online and offline have become the Parent police. They think that you have to fit a mold of a certain way or you are a horrible parent. If you say well my child did this..then you have 5 people who suddenly know everything that there is to know about that subject, like they wrote the dictionary on that . I bought my daughter this really cool Black Star Wars shirt..."Oh No" Why did you d that, why did you know buy her that shirt in Purple or Pink, she is going to be traumatized and may have gender related issues all because you bought her a black shirt. She is going to try to be Goth now, all because you bought her that shirt in black . You do know they make that exact shirt in Pink, Purple and other colors that you could have gotten instead, right? What were you thinking? .....When I see things like this I want to ask the people, wait..do you own any black clothing? I certainly do because you know, Black is slimming and I need all the slimming help I can get and I own several black T-Shirts.
How about when you post the cutest picture of your Son with his first toothy smile and all people are talking about is how dirty his clothes are or how messy your room is in the background of the picture. Hello..I was showing off my son, not the pile of dirty laundry still to be done, nor the toys all over my home, never mind that person has 2 other children under age 4 to take care of, people are more concerned about the dirty laundry than they are about saying how cute her child is. Is your home spotless? Is all of your laundry done? If you have small children do they have every single toy cleaned up? This parent could have been having one of the worst days ever, she could have been overwhelmed with housework, that baby boy cutting a tooth, young children sick, we never know, and then that precious baby smiles with that first tooth and you catch that moment on camera and want to share it with those around you..and instead that one moment that made your ruined day so much brighter is once again turned in to a shaming moment.
Granted, some things you just cannot and should not turn the other cheek on. If I see a child being abused, then I will make it my business. If I see a child with the most beautiful smile and his Mother is playing with him, yet his clothes are dirty from a day of drool and baby food ( we are talking a day here, not a week) , I will offer that Mom a high five and say way to go Mom, spend those precious moments with that baby because you will never get those moments back and laundry will still need to be done the next day. If I see anyone young or old being bullied, I am going to offer the person being bullied a huge smile, tell them something positive about themselves that I see, even if I have never met them before. I will tell them that the ones who bully are usually the ones who for one reason or another are really unhappy with themselves and they are taking it out on them for all the wrong reasons and I will encourage that person to report that bullying.
Stop Policing. Unless someone is being hurt mentally or physically, just stop. What right do you have to tell that Mother that she is a bad parent for giving her child Ice Cream for Breakfast? What right do you have to tell that Mother that she should have been sleeping beside her Special Needs child's bed every night of their life instead of sleeping in her own marriage bed? What right do you have to tell that Father that he is a horrible father for playing with his child instead of changing his clothes because he has spit up on them? No Right...none at all....you raise your own children and not try to raise everyone else's child.
When did we become a society that thinks it is okay to tell everyone else how to raise a child yet we keep out mouth shut when the time comes when we truly may be able to save a child?
OMG....I gave my son a toy and it has pink on it..he is going to grow up and hate me because i gave him something with pink on it, I know he will, all those other Mothers and others said so. OMG My child is going to be scarred for life, I gave him a lollipop without checking for the ingredients and it has GMO's in it, now my child is going to be a slower learner than all the other kids because that Other lady said so. OMG, my husband is cheating on me because that other lady said if he does nothing but play video games for two hours on the weekend instead of wanting to go to a bar it's all because he is afraid we will run in to her, so now I know he is cheating all because that other lady SAID SO!